April 11, 2006 I was teaching in Everman Texas where I was also a softball coach at the high school. I was at the practice field with all the girls and my phone rang. It was 6:00 at night and I did not recognize the number, but answered just in case. You see the week before, to the day, I had surgery to remove a lump in my left breast. The surgeon who performed the surgery came into the waiting room and told my family that everything looked great, there were no worries, he was 99% sure this was not cancer. We left the hospital that day feeling relieved that this would all be over and I could get back to worrying about my upcoming wedding. We also had no reason to believe otherwise, I had no family history of breast cancer and I had just turned 24 years old. But my journey did not start there.
I don't remember the exact date, but I will never remember every detail of it. I came home from softball practice and started getting ready to go to dinner with my soon to be husband and some friends. As I was changing I noticed a lump on my left breast. You could see it!! I thought this was a little strange, but had been very active in my coaching and working out to get in the best shape possible for my wedding. But something inside me told me this is not right. When Lewis came home I showed him the lump. We had decided that we would go to the doctor just in case. We went to dinner as if nothing in our lives was different. At the time, there wasn't. I called my obgyn and made an appointment the next day, but it would be a short time before they could see me. By the time the appointment came, I had an even stronger feeling, this isn't right, there is something wrong, it seemed bigger. The doctor examined me and excused it. She did not feel like there was anything to worry about because of my age, I had just turned 24. I was insistent that something else be done. She referred me to a surgeon. At the time, I just went with the flow. It never crossed my mind to look into the doctor and I didn't know any surgeons. I went to see him 1 week later and he did an ultra sound on the lump to see if it was a solid mass. It was a solid mass, not a good sign, but he felt like we should just watch it and see if there were any changes.
His suggestion, wait until after the wedding and if it still bothered me come back in. Mind you I was getting married in 2 months. I insisted that it be taken out. It never even crossed my mind to get a biopsy, all I knew is that I wanted it out, whatever it was. However, the doctor should have known better. He should have done a biopsy, but he didn't. He never even mentioned it to me.
I went into day surgery exactly 1 week later. He cut high to avoid any visible scars (seems really ironic to me now with all the scars I have) and drug the mass out.
The phone call went something like this, "Jamie, are you at home? Here is my cell phone number, call me as soon as you get home and you are with your family". A little odd for a doctor to give out his personal phone number and request for me to be with my family when I call. I knew right then and there. I rushed home as fast as I could drive. Lewis was not home yet from work but I couldn't wait any longer. I called right away. He told me the mass was cancer and that it was really bad. It had spread. He had made arrangements for me to see an oncologist the very next day and that it was important that I go. He was extremely sorry and that he had never had an experience like this before. If I needed anything at all, please call.
I was in shock. NO emotions!! What in the world am I going to do with cancer in my body. How is this even possible. They made some mistake (I even asked the next day if there was any way they could make a mistake). When Lewis got home I broke down.
The very next day I went to the Oncologist. I now know why I was sent to that surgeon, it was to send me to the oncologist, who I will forever hold dear to my heart.
We went (me, Lewis, and my sister Amanda) with no idea what to expect, but prepared. We heard the news. I had stage 2b breast cancer that had spread to my lymph nodes. My treatment would be long and painful, I would lose my hair, my breast, my strength and energy, possibly the ability to have my own children.. As the news sunk in I finally broke down and started crying. She was so kind to me and thank goodness Lewis and Amanda were there.
There was no time to even think, I had to start chemo right away to stop the cancer from spreading anymore.
Recap:
Monday-found out I had cancer
Tuesday-saw the Oncologist
Wednesday-surgery to remove lymph nodes
Thursday-rest
It happened SO fast. But I was in "let's get this done mode". I didn't even look back.
All in all I had 4 rounds of Adriamycin/Cytoxin, this was the hard stuff. It's what made me lose my hair. I was still teaching through all of this (first year school teacher), so I would go on Fridays to get my treatment and then sleep the entire weekend. I couldn't eat, I couldn't be in the light or hear any sound or I would be sick. I was so weak and my bones ached so bad it was hard for me to walk or sit in certain positions.
I took a break after this to go get married in Cabo. I was bald and a little chubby from all the steroids and meds, but was as happy as could be!!
Wedding in Cabo
When we got back I went straight into 10 weeks of Taxol. I started getting to know nurses and patients who were there every week at the same time as me, it felt like a little family, like I was supposed to be there.
I needed a 3rd treatment, called Herceptin, because I was Her 2 Neu positive, but the chemo had decreased my heart function pretty drastically. So we waited. I got to rest for a brief time. My body needed to recover a little and get ready for the surgery.
I so wish it would have crossed my mind to take pictures or do a cast, but I was in "get it over with mode". All of my doctors, including my new surgeon, who I have to say is the coolest doctor I have ever met, recommended a double mastectomy. I felt the same. I was not going to do this again later in my life. My surgery was about 6 hours with a week stay in the hospital. All I have to say is morphine is a good thing!! I had no idea what this would feel like, but I felt like someone took a part of my soul when they took my boobies. I don't know why? It's just a piece of my body that doesn't define me as a person, but I think it's because I didn't get to decide this. It wasn't my choice. My hair would grow back and I would recover, but those scars will be there for the rest of my life.
I'm not going to lie, it was a rough recovery. I had already been through chemo induced menopause and the most exhausting treatments ever, and now my body had to recover from this. I had high spirits even though I felt like I looked more like my brother than ever before in my life!! It was hard to move my arms and my chest was so sore. The worst was the lymph node dissections. It is extremely painful to have them removed from under your arm. I still do not have full motion in my left arm.
After a period of rest I complete 33 rounds of radiation. My hair had started to grow back by this point and things seemed to be a little more "normal". We took out the medi-port because we thought we were all done. Little did I know. I was sent to a cardiologist for my heart. They put me on some medicine to strengthen my heart so maybe I could get that last treatment. With much debate and long cries in the doctors office, we decided it would be best to try the Herceptin. I would do it as long as my heart would let me. This medicine would be key to increasing my chances of survival. My body held up for the entire treatment, 1 full year.
That's it. I'm now done with treatments. But wait, what do you mean I'm done. I felt empty. This has been my life for some time now. I felt like if we weren't doing anything, well, we weren't doing anything. Plus, these people and all the doctors had become my life. This feeling did fade over time.
Earlier I talked about my chances of survival. This has been one of the hardest things for my to deal with. How could something, someone, put a number on my chances of living. It just so isn't right. you never know that feeling until you're there and it is very unsettling. I feel cheated. I know everyone knows they are going to leave this world one day, but to be told your chances-
Now that I am almost 6 years out and on the outside I appear "normal" there isn't a day that goes by that I am not reminded by the scars on my body what I have been through. If you didn't know me you would never think by just looking at me what I have been through in my life, but I think about it several times a day. I am so blessed to be healthy and have two beautiful children of my own, and a very supportive husband.
I owe so many people for supporting me and Lewis during all of this. God has given us so many blessings in our lives, including his never ending love and forgiveness. Our family, including both of our moms, Sandra Hataway and Kathy Harrison, have been there every step of the way. We love them dearly and could not have done this without them. Also, my sister Amanda Praytor and her family, Cody, Layten, and Landon who I love as my own. Our friends, The Mckay's, The Harris', The Boone's, Missy Garner and Laura Lopez. They have all seen me in my finest and darkest hour, but have never failed to be by our sides. We love you all!!
My life will never be the same after April 11, 2006. I am a breast cancer survivor and proud of it!!
God Bless you and your family. Thank you for posting the story of your cancer. It brings me up to date on who and what you've been through. This is a wonderful story and I hope everyone in the family reads it. It gives me hope that there is a cure for cancer but the trials and tribulations of what a person goes through to recover is a miracle from God. God Bless you all Aunt Juanita Harrison Parker
ReplyDeleteJamie,
ReplyDeleteYou are a survivor and a testimony of God's
awesome Grace. You overcame by the Blood of the
Lamb and the word of your Testimony. You will be
an encouragement to so many other women. You and Lewis have such a love for each other and a beautiful family, you were created by God to be
Holden and Hunter's ma'ma. God Bless, Aunt Chryl